Nine month update

Ummmm….it’s DECEMBER already?! Where has the time gone?! This time of the year always seems to speed up – there’s so much to DO and EAT and CELEBRATE – but with a baby, everything has gone into warp speed.

Winston is army-crawling everywhere (to hell with crawling like a normal baby, he says) and learning to pull himself up onto furniture, toys, the dishwasher, people, dogs –¬† basically anything within reach. So we’re baby-proofing the house and watching him like a hawk. It’s a fun time, but so exhausting! Gone are the days when we could put him on the floor under a baby mobile to buy ourselves 2 minutes to, you know, pee in peace. Kiddo will not sit still! (See below for proof.)

In October, we took him to a local pumpkin patch for the obligatory baby pumpkin pictures. We got lucky and had perfect weather and a good-tempered kiddo who put up with our desire for hundreds of photos, and I love how the pictures turned out.


We had a very low-key Thanksgiving at a friend’s house. We (translation: Adam) smoked a turkey (which was delicious – recipe here) and brought a bourbon pecan pie, and my friend provided all the sides. It was so sweet of her to offer to host, because there’s no way I could have pulled off cooking all those dishes by myself. The day was everything I wanted it to be: focused on food, football, friends, family, and the dog show ūüôā

The days are getting increasingly short, which means we had to cut out our nightly walks in the park. As a consequence, Winston finally dropped his third nap of the day (since he used to fall asleep while being pushed in the stroller). We’re now (mostly) on the 2-3-4 Sleep Routine, and it has made a huge impact on our days. Winston has been a great night-time sleeper since we sleep-trained him a few months ago, but his daytime sleep routine didn’t fall into place until recently. Now that he can stay awake for longer periods and is finally on a somewhat predictable schedule, we can plan errands and outings without fear of a sleepy meltdown in the middle of say, Target (speaking from experience).

Winston has also been on two cross-country plane trips and WOWEE talk about an experience. If you’re still childless and traveling, enjoy the hell out of those adult-only plane rides you get to take. Being spontaneous, packing light, and sleeping, reading, or watching movies on plane rides are all things I took for granted pre-baby. It’s a total adjustment. That being said, Winston was a champ on both trips and the learning curve is steep. He did well enough on the plane that we’re planning to take a cross-Atlantic trip to London sometime this summer.

At Denver International Airport, waiting for Dad to pick up our breakfast from Chik-fil-A

(9+ hours on a plane with a 15-month old. Are we crazy? You can tell me.)

We have another cross-country trip coming up for Christmas and we’ll see how it goes with our ever-increasingly mobile child. If it’s successful, I’ll do a separate post for tips and tricks of navigating air travel with a baby.

And now you’re all caught up! Have a great weekend and enjoy this holiday season!

Why the “Ferber Method” worked for us – Part II

In Part I of this two-part series, I explained all about our sleep struggles. Winston was not born a good sleeper, but I suspect that most babies out there aren’t either. We tried co-sleeping (worked for a few months) and putting him to sleep in his swing (worked for a few weeks), before we realized we needed to do some formal sleep training, so he could fall asleep on his own, in his crib.

During my frenzied internet searches (things like “why won’t my baby sleep” and “how can I convince my child to sleep in his crib”), I came across what is known as the “Ferber Method” from the book Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems by Dr. Richard Ferber. There is so much misconception out there about the “Ferber Method”, probably due (at least on my part) to the very popular movie “Meet the Fockers“. Here’s a quote from a scene between Jack (Robert Di Nero) and Greg (Ben Stiller):

Greg: That baby might need a pull on that knocker of yours, Jack.

Jack: It’s OK. We’re Ferberizing him.

Greg: What?

Jack: The Ferber method. You let him cry it out so he doesn’t depend on coddling.

That scene, especially in the larger context of the movie and Jack’s character as a stern, uptight, unaffectionate man, had me convinced that the “Ferber method” was cruel, outdated, and not something I wanted to use with my baby.

But then I did a lot of internet research, talked to other moms (including my own, who “Ferberized” me nearly 30 years ago!), and –gasp– actually read the book. Here is what the Ferber method is not:

  • cry it out
  • anti-cuddling
  • mean
  • selfish
  • a perfect, end-all-be-all solution

I should also stop here and explain that the book, Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems,¬†covers so much more than getting your baby to sleep in their crib, which Dr. Ferber refers to as “eliminating sleep associations”. There are also chapters on sleep in general (including sleep cycles and why babies sleep the way they do), sleep stages, sleep regressions, night terrors, middle of the night feedings, schedule disorders, naps, and how to deal with jet lag – basically, if it has to do with sleep, this book covers it.

Our main issue, however, was getting Winston to fall asleep on his own, in his own space (his crib), without “sleep crutches” or “sleep associations” such as being held, being rocked, or being nursed to sleep. This is covered in-depth in Chapter 4 of the book.

Here’s a brief overview of what the Ferber method is: By the age of three or four months (adjusted for gestation age), your child can, and should, learn to fall asleep on his/her own, without outside help. To accomplish this, you put your child in his/her crib at an appropriate bedtime (he helps you calculate when this should be), after a soothing and loving bedtime routine (he has suggestions on that too), and leave the room. If/when your child cries, you wait a set interval of time before going in and reassuring your child (and yourself!) that everything is fine. Ideally, this is done with a pat on the back and some comforting words, rather than picking up the baby. Then you leave again. If/when your child cries, you wait a longer interval of time, and repeat the process. On the third time, you have reached your “max wait” and use that time for all successive rounds until your child falls asleep. Each night, you increase the wait time until your child falls asleep on his/her own.

The successively longer wait times are to let your child know that they are not alone, that they are still loved, that you are still there to support them, and to reassure yourself that your child is ok, but that they can and should be falling asleep on their own, without your help.

The science behind this method is that you want your child to fall asleep under the exact same circumstances that will be present when he/she invariably wakes up in the middle of the night. The example Dr. Ferber uses is to imagine you fall asleep with a pillow, but in the middle of the night while you are sleeping, someone comes and takes away your pillow. You might not wake up when the pillow is taken, but you will wake up at some point in the night (as we all do), and instead of being able to fall seamlessly back asleep, you realize that your pillow is gone. You wake up fully, searching for your pillow. You may even get out of bed to try and find it. Instead of transitioning smoothly between one sleep cycle and the next, you are disturbed and uncomfortable, and completely unable to fall back asleep. But if you were to go to bed without a pillow in the first place, it might be a tough transition at first, but over the course of a few nights, you would get used to the new normal and sleep just fine.

To put this in practical terms, if your child falls asleep nursing, or while being held, then you transfer them to their crib, when they wake up in the middle of the night, rather than going back to sleep on their own, they will want/need to be nursed or held again. This requires your intervention, and everyone gets less sleep. But once your child learns to fall asleep on their own, they will be able to move easily between sleep cycles, barely aware that they are awake at all. Everyone gets more sleep, and isn’t that the dream of every parent?

Here’s how the Ferber method worked in our house – on the first night we waited 3, 5, and 7 minutes. On the second night, we waited 5, 7, and 10 minutes. On the third night, we waited 6 minutes, and Winston was asleep!

I’m not going to lie. The first night was¬†Rough.¬†Although Winston only cried for about 30 minutes total (which is less time than he normally cried at bedtime!), having to stand outside the door and wait for the time to pass was heart-wrenching. Going in to pat him on the back and tell him I loved him, then leaving and hearing his cries was like being punched in the gut repeatedly. Looking back, I know sleep training was the best decision we made, and I know that teaching Winston good sleep habits is one of the best gifts I can give him, but at the time I felt like a selfish, wretched monster.

Night two was a little better. He cried for a total of 20 minutes, and as I saw some improvement, I began to think that maybe we’d make it through sleep training after all.

Night three he cried for 6 minutes before falling asleep. We didn’t even have to go back into his room after we put him down in his crib! I was so happy and so relieved, that I started crying. By night four we had cut the crying (which was really more like fussing) down to a mere 5 minutes and I started thinking that maybe I’d eventually be able to enjoy bedtime like a normal parent.

I don’t want you to think that this was the end-all-be-all solution to all our sleep problems. We still have times when Winston randomly screams his head off for no reason, or when he wants eat three times in the middle of the night, or when he wants to get up at 4AM to party, or when he refuses to fall back asleep. But most nights, he goes to sleep between 6:30 and 7:30 at night and sleeps until 6:30 or 7:30 the next morning. He’s one of those babies that seems to need to fuss a little before he can fall asleep, but usually he fusses for no longer than a few minutes.

Of course, now that we know Winston can and does fall asleep in his crib on his own, when he doesn’t fall asleep within ten minutes of fussing, or when he wails like a banshee when he’s in his crib (like last night, for example), we know something is off. He no longer needs our help to fall asleep, so he’s usually crying for another reason. Last night he was still crying pretty forcefully after ten minutes, so I went in, picked him up, sang him another lullaby, and nursed him again before putting him back in his crib. After that, he fussed for a few minutes before falling asleep. Winston has been sick the past few days, and I rightly assumed that he wanted more snuggles before bed.

One thing I’ve learned is that my husband and I know our baby better than anyone, and we need to trust our guts. Sometimes Winston needs to fight it out on his own in his crib (if we can tell he’s overtired, or struggling to get comfortable), but some nights he needs a little extra cuddling, and that’s ok. Some nights he surprises us with how easily he falls asleep, and some nights we’re staring at the baby monitor, silently pleading with our child to fall asleep already!¬†Parenting is a constant adventure, after all.

Overall, though, the guidance in Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems has helped us have more good nights than bad, and for that I am infinitely grateful. What are your favorite tips for getting your child to sleep? Did you do some sort of formal sleep training? Do you have a favorite bedtime routine?

Why the “Ferber Method” worked for us – Part I

Although the first three months of being a new mom are pretty hazy for me (lack of sleep will do that to a person), I will always remember how incredibly difficult it was to get Winston to sleep. Put him down in his crib? FORGET IT. Vibrating bassinet that was supposed to soothe babies to sleep? HA, NOPE. We tried every. single. thing. Swaddling, having him sleep in his carseat on the floor, propping up his mattress, nursing him to sleep then transferring him – nothing worked.

Now, at almost eight months old, he is a champion sleeper, who actually prefers to sleep in his crib. So what changed?

Part of it, of course, is that he “grew up”. We survived the fourth trimester, he grew out of his colic and acid reflux, and started to be a happier baby in general. But the main difference came from me purchasing, reading, and implementing the guidance found in Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems by Dr. Richard Ferber. Here’s our full sleep-saga, and how the Ferber method worked for us.

[[Side note: I’ve broken this post up into two parts, because it is long. I’m including a lot of (possibly unnecessary) background information about what our life was like before sleep training. If you don’t care about this stuff, go ahead and skip to Part II. I’m including it, however, because when I was desperately scouring the internet for every bit of baby sleep advice I could find, there never seemed to be a “before” story. Only “this is what we did and it’s great!” I would read those and think, “Yeah, but my baby is a bad sleeper. Like, a REALLY BAD sleeper. What worked for you would never work for me.” So I’m here to say that the transformation in Winston’s sleep habits has been nothing short of miraculous. Every baby is different, every family is different, and what worked for us may not work for you, but it’s at least something to consider.]]

I know we all hear stories about moms who have babies that are great sleepers straight out of the womb. Maybe it’s our friend, or someone we follow on Instagram, or a coworker, or just a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend. Moms at play dates who are freshly showered, without bags under their eyes, who have that “I got amazing sleep last night” glow, because their baby started sleeping six-hour stretches at the young age of two months.

I did not – I repeat, DID NOT – have one of those babies. I don’t think most moms do either. The amount of baby sleep books and internet articles prove that most of us are in the same boat, frantically searching for any advice we can find on how to convince these tiny humans that sleep is good for them. If you’re feeling hopeless and stressed out, like I was, that your baby will never sleep, you should know that you are not alone. And your baby will sleep, eventually.


About a month after he was born, we had tried everything we could think of to get Winston to sleep in his own space (see above). We were desperate and sleep deprived beyond belief. We abandoned the idea of a bassinet next to our bed, decided to ditch the fancy co-sleeper we had purchased, and finally gave in to the only way he would ever sleep Рin our bed nestled against me (see tips for safe bed-sharing here). It worked. Everyone got more sleep.


Rather than fighting to get him to fall asleep, then waking up and getting out of bed every three hours to feed him, then fighting to get him to fall back asleep, he slept cuddled in my arms and nursed as he was hungry. I could wake up briefly to help Winston latch, then fall right back asleep. Winston was able to nurse himself to sleep and went from screaming like a banshee every three hours to barely making a peep all night. I stopped worrying that Adam would fall asleep at the wheel while driving to work in the morning. Angels sang. It was the perfect solution.

Until it wasn’t.

Fast-forward three months. Winston was four months old, and all the pediatricians, baby books, and internet authorities (whoever they are) agreed that babies should be sleeping longer stretches at night – up to six hours. Well, Winston apparently did not get that memo. His “long” stretches were more like two hours. Most nights, I was lucky if I could remove my nipple from his mouth at all. He had found his all-night boob buffet, and he was not about to give that up. I was tired and frustrated with going bed at 8pm every night since that’s when Winston was ready to sleep. I wanted my own space back, but all the advice we found said that he was still too young for sleep training (especially because he was five weeks premature), and he screamed bloody murder if we even so much as looked at his crib.

So, we moved him to his rock and play swing and that worked! The rocking motion soothed him to sleep, and once he was away from me and my boobs, he realized he didn’t actually need to snack all night long. He started sleeping for five- and six-hour stretches. We knew the swing was a temporary solution, but figured it would buy us a few months until he was old enough for some formal sleep training at six months old.

Well, “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry”, as the quote goes. Winston learned to roll over at four months old, and it wasn’t long before he was trying to roll over in his swing. Even though we strapped him in, he wiggled and squirmed enough that he could loosen the straps. His swing was no longer a safe sleeping situation.

Terrified that our child would hurt himself (or worse) in his swing, we had no choice but to move him to his crib. And so, when Winston was five months old (only four months old, adjusted for his gestation age), I purchased what I now believe is maybe the most misunderstood and misinterpreted book about child sleep training.

Check out Part II of this post for an explanation of what the “Ferber Method” is (and isn’t), how we modified his sleep training to fit us, and why I think Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems is an incredible resource for parents.




Where I’ve been – life updates

To those of you who are already parents, this is going to come as absolutely NO surprise, but — HOLY COW PARENTING IS A LOT OF WORK.


I look back at my BC (before child) days and think,¬†what did I do with all that spare TIME?! Even with Winston in daycare 3 – 5 days a week, depending on my work schedule, every minute of my day (and then some) is accounted for. There are an embarrassingly high number of days that I don’t change out of my PJs (I work from home). I don’t know where the time goes. Between work-work, house-work, spending time with my family, cooking meals, grocery shopping, the seemingly never-ending list of chores, blogging fell by the wayside. I’m hoping to remedy that in the future.

Here’s what we’ve been up to since the last post (in no particular order):

  • Sleep training. Winston hate-hate-hated¬†his crib for the first five months of his life, but the more mobile he became, the more imperative it was that we find a safe sleeping solution. How to Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems (also known as the Ferber Method) saved our lives. More on this in another post, but the short story is that it worked miracles for us. After just a week following the book’s guidance, Winston was going to sleep, in his crib, without protest. Within a month, he started sleeping “through the night” (as defined as a 6 – 8 hour stretch, as is appropriate for his age). For a baby who was used to waking up every 3 – 4 hours (even at 5 months old), this was a game changer.
  • First plane ride. We took Winston to see my side of the family, including his 85-year-old great-grandfather (!), in Florida for a week-long trip, which meant a not-insignificant amount of travel. It’s an hour drive from our house to the Denver airport, then a 3.5 hour flight (if everything goes smoothly), then another hour drive from the Orlando airport to my parents’ house. Not to mention the two hours we spent at the airport before our flight (we wanted to get there in plenty of time). Plus, we were delayed by 2 hours on our return flight. All that adds up to a long day of travel for us adults, never mind a confused and jet-lagged 7-month-old. My husband, Adam, and I were understandably nervous, but our worries were unfounded. Winston was a champ! We also were very lucky to be seated next to incredibly understanding and kind individuals, who helped calm our nerves.
  • Therapy (mine, not Winston’s). This is another topic that I’ll delve into on a different day. After slogging through over 6 months with anxiety, insomnia (even when exhausted), shame, sadness, and just generally not feeling like myself, I finally admitted that my postpartum depression was not simply going to “go away” on its own. I started seeing a licensed therapist just over a month ago, and it has made a world of difference.
  • Teething (Winston’s, not mine). The little guy has two teeth coming in, and I can’t wait for them to get here, already! Mostly because he’ll stop being in so much pain (he frequently wakes up from naps grabbing at his mouth), but also because he’ll be even cuter (if that’s possible). It seems like we’ve tried every teething trick out there (cold/frozen washcloths, teething rings, Tylenol), but if you have any other tips, please share!
  • International vacation daydreaming. 2017 was the year first year my husband and I haven’t been to Europe since we graduated from grad school in 2011. Up until Winston’s birth, we always took at least one trip to somewhere in Europe, whether it was a month exploring Italy, spending Thanksgiving in London, three weeks in Southern Spain, or two weeks in Germany for Oktoberfest. We skipped international travel last year on our pediatrician’s recommendation that Winston get his MMR (measles, mumps, and rubella) vaccine, which he gets on at one-year, before we go abroad. With his one-year birthday rapidly (TOO rapidly) approaching, I’ve started brainstorming ideas for our first trip. Right now, we’re leaning toward a London and English countryside trip. The thought of going somewhere new (I’ve only ever been to London in the UK), but not too new (the lack of a language barrier is extremely reassuring) is sounding like the ideal balance. Winston already has his passport, now he we just have to figure out where to take him!
  • Developmental milestones. I cannot believe how much Winston has learned in the past few months – rolling over, sitting up, feeding himself, laughing, squealing, scooting across the floor (he’s SO CLOSE to crawling), playing with toys, the list goes on and on. As much as I want to slow down the clock, I’m also so excited to watch this tiny human learn and grow.

So much has happened, but that’s the highlight reel. I hope to be much better about updating here in the future!

Friday Five

Happy Friday! We’ve had rainy weather all week, but today the clouds finally cleared and the weather is perfect! It’s Mother’s Day weekend, which means it’s unofficial planting week for the state of Colorado. Local tradition dictates that you can’t start planting your garden until Mother’s Day, because snow frequently falls through May. Earlier this week, we had hail the size of golf balls! Adam and I bucked this sage advice last year by planting the final¬†weekend in April, and we paid dearly for it in the form of $100 of plants ruined by snow and frost just a few days later.

This year, we’re heeding tradition and saving the gardening for tomorrow. Last year was our first year to have a serious garden, and we’ve got even bigger plans this time around. On the planting list: golden raspberries, lavender, okra, tomatoes, kale, collards, hot¬†peppers, tomatillos, Swiss chard, and summer squash, plus pots of basil, chives, mint, and parsley. We might throw some flowers into the mix, but it’s hard to convince me to give up vegetable real estate to something you can’t eat ūüôā

I hope you’re enjoying a wonderful weekend! Here are five of my favorite things this week!


1.) Favorite Fashion –¬†Diff Dime II 48mm Retro Sunglasses in Motley/Blue. The temperature is supposed to reach 80 tomorrow – summer is (finally) coming! I ordered these sunnies from Nordstrom last week and absolutely love them. They’re very high quality for the price and come in lots of fun colors/patterns. Plus, Diff¬†partners with Eyes on Africa to donate reading glasses to those in need. Win-win!


2.) Favorite Breakfast – Peanut Butter Overnight Oats from¬†Minimalist Baker. This make-ahead meal¬†is a lifesaver in our house. Without it, I don’t think I’d ever eat breakfast, which really isn’t an option for me, since I tend to wake up starving. I cut back on the PB and maple syrup to save some calories, and add toasted coconut and granola in the morning for some crunch. It’s delicious – and that’s coming from a girl who doesn’t like oatmeal!


3.) Favorite Read – 5 Ways to Teach Kids About Consent¬†from A Cup of Jo. All I want in life is for my baby boy to grow up happy, healthy, and respectful of others. This article is eye-opening about simple, non-awkward ways to help kids learn to respect their own bodies, and others’ as well. “You’re the boss” is my favorite.


4.) Favorite “Pie” – Samoas No Bake Cheesecake Tart from Smells Like Home. I lost our annual March Madness bracket challenge to my husband, and as payment, I owe him a freshly baked pie. Now, I know this is technically a tart and not a pie, but come on! The shortbread! The caramel! The chocolate! I don’t think I’ll have any problem getting my husband to overlook the technicalities. That’s the kind of bet I don’t mind losing.


5.) Favorite Upgrade – Le Creuset Signature Saucepan¬†in Marine. I still have the saucepans I received as a college graduation gift seven (sob!) years ago, and while they still get the job done, I’m itching to replace them with this gorgeous, easy to clean, do anything Le Creuset version. Maybe as a Mother’s Day present to myself?


Five Favorite Baby Products

When I started our baby registry what feels like ages ago, I was totally overwhelmed. There are a gazillion baby products out there, and I didn’t know which products were truly necessary, or which would be a waste of space. We live in a pretty small house, so any products I registered for or purchased needed to be worth the investment. I turned to other moms for advice, and they came through in a huge way. Over the past few months, I’ve also homed in on which products are absolutely essential for us. Here are the five products we absolutely love and could not live without.

Baby Bear tucked away and fast asleep at the New Belgium brewery.

1.)¬†Baby K’tan. This product saves my sanity on a near-daily basis. For the first two months, Baby Bear wanted to be held all the time (including while he slept), which was¬†adorable some days, but maddening others. Baby-wearing has allowed me to satisfy his¬†need to be held, while still getting things done around the house. When baby’s¬†wrapped up next to me, he doesn’t make a peep. We’ve taken him everywhere in this wrap, from brewery tours (see above), to art museums, to fine dining restaurants. Being able to get out of the house and socialize does wonders for my mood. I’m sure there are other (cheaper) baby wraps that get the job done, but the Baby K’tan could not be easier, once you get the hang of it. It now takes me just 30 seconds to get baby in the wrap, which is incredibly quick compared to what I’ve heard from other moms with different wraps.

2.) VTech Safe & Sound Baby Monitor. I adore this baby monitor. It was a cinch to set up (according to my husband), and both the picture and audio quality are great. The monitor has a bunch of fancy features, but here are our favorites: the camera pans 270 degrees and has a tilt feature, so whether baby sleeps in his crib or his swing, we don’t have to move the camera base; the monitor shows the room temperature, so I can make sure the room isn’t too hot or too cold; the monitor is wireless (with a pretty decent battery life), so I can take it anywhere in the house (maximum range of 1,000 feet); and, you can purchase up to 7 additional cameras to connect, if you want to set up monitors in various rooms. This provides incredible peace of mind, and I don’t feel like I have to peek into his room every 2 minutes!

Baby Bear being wheeled around on the uneven terrain of the Rocky Mountain National Park.

3.) Baby Jogger City Mini GT Stroller. Despite the name, this actually isn’t a jogging stroller, but an everyday stroller. We love this thing for a few different reasons – it’s suuuuper easy to fold/unfold (seriously, you can do it one-handed), it maneuvers like an absolute dream, and it has larger wheels so it can handle “off-road” terrain (very useful for the Rocky Mountain National Park). It also adapts to fit our infant car seat with an inexpensive and easy-to-install part, so we didn’t need to buy an “infant stroller” and a “toddler stroller”. Yes, it’s more expensive than most other strollers, but we think it’s worth every single penny, especially when you think of how many times you’ll use it over the next three (or more) years!

Baby burrito.

4.) Halo SleepSack Swaddle. The hospital gave us this as a gift when we were discharged, and I seriously don’t know that anyone would ever sleep without it. Swaddling is the #1 recommendation for getting newborns to sleep, and the SleepSack makes wrapping up a flailing baby a breeze. The SleepSack fit even our 5 lb. preemie baby (which is something I can’t say for the SwaddleMe we also have) and is totally Houdini-proof. Even now that the SwaddleMe fits our 8.5 pounder, we much prefer the SleepSack. I ordered an extra so we always have a clean one on hand.

Kate Spade

5.) Kate Spade Watson Lane Betheny Baby Bag. I am a fanatic about purse organization, and having an organized diaper bag is so important to my sanity. There’s nothing worse than having a screaming, squirming baby and not being able to put your hands on the one pacifier/bottle/toy/blanket that will comfort him, not to mention doing diaper changes in unfamiliar environments! This bag has two outside pockets to keep my items (keys, wallet, cell phone) handy and accessible, and a million pockets inside to store the baby essentials. It’s also nylon, making it incredibly easy to clean (just wipe down with a damp paper towel). The price tag is a little steep, but Kate Spade products last forever and are worth the splurge for me. You can also sign up for their emails to be alerted when they have major sales, or check places like TJ Maxx for discounted styles.

And there you have it – my five most valuable baby products! This was not a sponsored post, and there aren’t any affiliate links. Just my honest opinion on what works for us.

What baby gear is on your MVP list?


Perspective: 0-2 month update

Motherhood is¬†amazing, and miraculous, and incredible. I adore my Baby Bear, and I am so thankful each and every day that I am able to be his mother. I love nursing him in the middle of the night, when it’s just the two of us. I love when he falls asleep in my arms. I love when he wraps his tiny hand around my finger.

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Baby Bear in his Easter outfit, just shy of two months old.

Motherhood, for me, is also a constant worry. That I’m not doing this right, that he’s not getting exactly what he needs, that somehow a decision I make now about where or how he sleeps is going to haunt him for the next thirty years and possibly ruin his life. What should I be doing; what should he be doing? Everyone has a different opinion. The internet is a great resource, but can get overwhelming in a hurry. There’s a lot of self-doubt marring this wonderful experience.

When the what ifs threaten to send me into black hole of self-doubt, I have to remember the big picture, and how far we’ve come in just two short months.

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In the hospital. I still can’t believe how tiny he was!

Baby Bear was 5 weeks premature. Thankfully, he was perfectly healthy and didn’t require a stay in the NICU, but preemie babies come with their own unique set of challenges.

Since he was so early, it was crucial that he go no more than three hours without eating, in order to gain weight as fast as possible. My milk took days to come in, so for the first week, he lived off of donor breast milk. Once my milk did come in, nursing was out of the question. His “suck-swallow” reflex wasn’t fully developed yet, and I had no idea what I was doing. So, every three hours, I fed him a bottle and then used a breast pump for 20 minutes in order to get enough milk for his next meal.

Meanwhile, my husband was dealing with a huge deadline at work, so he delayed taking his paternity leave for the first two weeks. In order to let him get enough sleep to be somewhat useful at his job, I slept on the couch, with baby in his bassinet nearby.

Feeding Baby Bear¬†just 20 tiny milliliters (less than an ounce!) took forever¬†– 30 minutes or more. It was a struggle to keep him awake for long enough to eat. Once he finally finished feeding, I still had to pump. By the time everything was said and done, I was lucky if I had 2 hours before it was time to feed him again. Most days, I didn’t get around to brushing my teeth until noon, or later. I was constantly worried that I wasn’t pumping enough milk, that he wasn’t gaining enough weight. It seemed like all I did was sleep or nap (in two-hour increments), but I was so. exhausted. all. the. time.

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He loves to be bundled up.

Fast forward eight short weeks, and Baby Bear is breastfeeding like a champ. When he does take a bottle, he sucks down 100 milliliters, no problem. He was back up to his birth weight within 6 weeks and has gained another three pounds on top of that. My husband took four weeks of (fully paid) paternity leave, and I was able to re-learn how to be a wife. Baby Bear sleeps in the bed with us, and nights are so much easier. I’ve learned to tell his tired cry from his hungry cry. I have an arsenal of tricks to soothe him when he’s unhappy¬†(which don’t always work, but we’re getting there!). I’ve accepted that the house won’t always be clean, that our meals won’t always be 100% homemade. I’m letting go of all the things that don’t matter and learning to triage like a pro.

It’s not perfect, but it’s definitely progress.




Mama told me there’d be days like this

First things first –¬†<a href=”″&gt; Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

I just set up an account on Bloglovin’, so now I’m “claiming” by blog. I’m still new to this whole blogging thing, but I’ve read about Bloglovin’ on several other blogs I follow. It seems like a convenient way to read all the blogs I follow, regardless of platform, in one place. Not to mention it’s much easier to discover new blogs. WordPress hasn’t been very helpful on that front.

Today, Baby Bear and I are having what my grandmother would have called a day – emphasized with a heavy sigh and quite possibly a look towards the heavens. While nighttime sleep has lately not been an issue (knock on wood), morning naps have recently been a huge challenge. Usually we wake up around 8, snuggle in bed for the thirty minutes (we are on the co-sleeping train, more on that later), and then get up to start the day.

About an hour later, I can tell he’s sleepy. He’s fussy, fidgety, and mouthy (but won’t nurse or take a bottle). We start the bedtime routine of swaddling, rocking, and singing a lullaby (Goodnight, My Angel by Billy Joel). I put him down, followed by another few minutes of singing and rocking, then I creep towards the door. This typically gets me a solid 1.5 – 2 hour nap, at which point he’s hungry, but all smiles as soon as he eats.

The past few mornings, he wakes up screaming right at the 40-minute mark. I know he’s still tired. He knows he’s still tired. But no amount of swaddling, rocking, nursing, or singing will convince him to fall asleep again. He’s awake and he wants the whole neighborhood to know. Today I had to go around closing all the windows in our house because I was worried someone might hear his wails and call child services.

The only thing that¬†finally (after two hours) convinces him to fall asleep is putting him in his “kangaroo pouch” aka a Baby K’tan (which is an absolute LIFESAVER).

He’s sleeping, and that’s the important part, but part of me worries that I’m forming bad habits. Will he ever be able to sleep by himself? When does he learn this “self-soothing” thing I keep hearing so much about? Why didn’t he come with an instruction manual?

Ah, parenthood.


Hello! I’m Erin, new Mama to my little Baby Bear, also known as Monkey, also known as Grumpy, also known as High Maintenance, also known as My Whole World.

Baby Bear was born five weeks early, on February 22nd, 2017, which also happened to be mine and my husband’s¬†three year wedding anniversary. He has definitely stolen the show for the rest of his life, but it gives my husband one less date to remember!

Baby¬†being premature came with its own set of challenges, and motherhood is so much harder than I ever thought. Constantly caring for another living human who depends on me for everything is mentally taxing in a way I had never considered. I think about him 100% of the time. Is he hungry? Does he need to be held? Maybe he’s too cold? I second guess everything I do, because WHAT IF I SCAR MY CHILD FOR LIFE. I want an instruction manual, a checklist, a timeline, a formula. If child does X, respond with Y.¬†

Apparently, babies don’t work like that.

I need an outlet and a community. I want a place to document his early weeks/months/years, because time is passing at warp speed. Baby has already outgrown his preemie clothes which is great (he’s gaining weight and catching up on the growth chart!) but terrifying (where have the past six weeks gone?!). This Subaru commercial gives me all the feels, and makes me tear up (ok, sob) every time. (Seriously, I’m sitting in Starbucks writing this and I am struggling to keep it together.)

Because¬†as incredibly hard as this whole mom thing is, it is easily the best thing I’ve ever done. I cannot believe that my body housed, grew, and birthed such a perfect creature. His tiny toes, his pouty mouth, his wrinkled forehead. He is beautiful, and I have never loved anyone or anything more.

I’ve had blogs in the past and it didn’t stick because I was paralyzed by the need to be perfect. I started out strong, but when it took me over an hour to type up a post that I was never quite happy with it, I eventually pushed it to the side. I miss writing, and keeping a journal just seems so 1998. My goal for this blog is to embrace the imperfection and to get out my thoughts without all the editing and curating. Motherhood is slowwwly teaching me to be a little less OCD, so we’ll see how this goes.